not writing life

when i am not writing, i am also not organizing my thoughts
thoughts i am not thinking
thinking too much
much to do
do homework
home work
house work
working through the night
night terror
panic
fear
thoughts i am not thinking when
i am not writing

list making
then i can write
                              __ 1. find time to write

finish all other items on list before taking time
to write—right?
                wrong—everything is wrong.

when i am not writing, i am also not finding time to clean, shop, cook, eat, clean, study, read, read more, take care of my skin, shower, bathe, book doctor's appointments, take car in for service, go for blood work, go for ultrasound, make dinner for mom, RUN, take care of my body, health, mind

mind you, i should write.

when i am not writing, i am always thinking about writing
writing and everything else
when i am not writing, i am also not finding the right words
words are wrong lately
i want my words to be right
when i am not writing, i am also not wronging
i am
nothing